Surreal

Have you ever encountered another human that felt completely magical and when your together time ceases to exist. It feels surreal and though you try to find the words to explain it, you can’t. Something that extraordinary can never be explained. My only hope is that everyone gets to experience that feeling at least once in this lifetime.

I am a very emotional person. When I’m sad I cry though crying isn’t easy for me and I know that would sound silly to many. (Well what the hell does she mean crying is hard) As a child I was always told not to cry. It was a sign of being to sensitive and weak, and for a very long time I believed that to be true. I would always try to hold my tears in or hide them. Sometimes I catch myself still doing exactly that. I no longer believe that being sensitive and feeing things to a higher level makes me weak. I’ve embraced that part of me and although I wish I weren’t so sensitive I am. That’s a part of me. I’m the woman who sees an elderly couple and gets all teary eyed. I’m the woman who cries during sappy movies. I’m the woman who sits alone in her bedroom and cry’s to beautiful music. That’s just who I am.

I’ve been feeling so disconnected lately. It’s like I have my moments but lately I don’t want to socialize or mingle with anyone. I don’t want the small talk or any type of talking. I just want to be lost to my thoughts and my feelings. I want to enjoy my kids and just get lost within their laughter and happiness. Everything else is just not doing it for me lately.

And if you lose yourself within someone and they walk away, all you will have is the ghost of who you we’re before them. Never forget who you were before them. Make sure that if they decide to walk away you can pick yourself up and own that shit. You are not who they are. You are you, and that’s beautiful.

for the one you love

12/01/2019

what would you do for the one you love? Such a powerful question that so many will answer with the same answer, "I will do anything for them" and though many of you are coming from your heart at the moment it is asked, I don't necessarily believe that to be true. We can all say we will do anything but what happens when that anything becomes having to let them go? Our selfishness sets in and we carry on with ways to hold on and we find ways for them not to let go. I believe that if a person genuinly needs time to figure themselves out, as hard as it may be we have to allow them that space to explore themselves. In the process I believe you also can find yourself and if by chance you both happen to come together again then at least you know it wasn't out of fear of letting go. (Photo found on Pinterest. I own no rights)

Something new

His lips still fresh on my lips and his scent wrapped softly around me, as I watch him sleep. I never thought another human could ever make me feel like this and I was right because this is the first time that I've ever felt comfortable in my own skin. And As I lie in his presence, I am thankful that I have been able to experience a human as pure as him; 

Don’t Get me wrong

This dreary Sunday of a day brings out the side of me that I love most. It brings out the relaxed me, the me that enjoys getting lost in the grey of the day. It allows me to go within and dig a little deeper as I write. It allows for my emotions to come pouring to the surface as I experience it and allow myself to actually take a little time to feel it. It’s amazing how easily I can write through inspiration but when it comes to writing about myself it becomes so hard. That’s the side of me that although I want to share, it becomes so hard for me to allow people to see me. It feels like I’m allowing someone into my sacred place and that somehow if they see me it will make me weak. As a blogger that wants to share so much, I become weary because I’ve always been so sheltered and protective of myself.  Any way enough of my rambling thoughts. I hope everyone is enjoying this beautiful dreary Sunday.