I find myself writing even when I have nothing to write about. Sometimes it feels like an outer body experience and then I look back and I think to myself, man I wrote that. I’m going to start off by telling you about my day. It’s Saturday I’m not feeling myself and I have so much thoughts on my mind. Thoughts of happiness, thoughts of sadness, thoughts of selfishness and selflessness. Why is it that we as humans complicate life. Why do we manifest our fears instead of our hopes. We live life based on being afraid. Afraid of the truth afraid of love and afraid of happiness. And I’m talking about myself here. I for one, if something is going too good I start searching for the bad, I start making things up in my head and telling myself this is way too good to be true. I guess I’m scared to be happy for the same reasons everyone else is. Happiness and love make us vulnerable, it leaves the door wide open for someone to come in and hurt us. That’s scary especially when you’ve been hurt and let down many times before. So what do you do when you want to grasp for something but at the same time want to turn and run away.
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