When you stop living in the past and stop being so afraid of the future, you begin living and enjoying the present moment.

Anger

Sometimes I go back and read old text just to remind myself  of certain things. Sometimes I go back and read them just to remind myself that once upon a time that’s exactly how that person felt and spoke. In anger you often find truth but you can also find lies. I myself have said some really messed up shit out of anger just to hurt the person that was hurting me. Later I would sit and reflect on the things that came from my mouth. Anger is powerful and if you allow it, it can change you.

Do you??

And when you tell me you love me, do you truly love me. Do you love all the pieces that make up who I am. Do you love my smile when I’m lost in laughter. Do you love my tears when I’m lost in sadness. Do you like the creases around my eyes that are forming with time. Do you love the fact that I can get lost talking about the moon and the galaxies. Do you love my passion for true love and how I believe we will love many but there is only one that we will love most. Do you love the fact that I see you, even now when you are at your darkest and you can’t seem to see yourself.

Hello from the other side

 I find myself battling with what’s right and with what feels right. I question everything that’s happened up to this point in my life and I don’t find myself writing from my heart. I also find myself being dishonest with myself more often than I would like. I find this sadness wrap itself tightly around me and then guilt sets in. I know I am exactly where I belong in this lifetime. I know it but I can’t seem to not be sad. It’s so hard to explain but I know what I am feeling and lord knows I’m trying. I’ve even prayed to take it all away. All this pain, all this hurt. I want to forget everything, every last bit of it. I guess as much as I think I'm over it, I haven’t fully arrived to a place of self healing, but for now I’ll keep this smile on my face.