I find myself battling with what’s right and with what feels right. I question everything that’s happened up to this point in my life and I don’t find myself writing from my heart. I also find myself being dishonest with myself more often than I would like. I find this sadness wrap itself tightly around me and then guilt sets in. I know I am exactly where I belong in this lifetime. I know it but I can’t seem to not be sad. It’s so hard to explain but I know what I am feeling and lord knows I’m trying. I’ve even prayed to take it all away. All this pain, all this hurt. I want to forget everything, every last bit of it. I guess as much as I think I'm over it, I haven’t fully arrived to a place of self healing, but for now I’ll keep this smile on my face.
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