You have to allow people time to heal and you have to allow the process to be completely theirs but what you don’t have to allow is any bad behavior from them as they heal. No one is entitled to call you names, put you down, or use your past against you. Some people will hold on to hurt and anger and at any chance use it against you and that is not what healing is about, that’s called manipulation. They want to hang it over your head because they know guilt will make you give in. Recognize that sometimes the ones closest to us know us and they know what triggers us and what they can use against us to get their way.