New year

One of my goals this year is to love harder. I tend to shut down and not show those I love that I love them. This is my biggest fault. I like to cut off and be done but that’s not fair to people. I’m coming to terms with how toxic that behavior really is. It’s not a power move. It’s selfish and childish and I see that shit clearly now. I have issues with committing to anything, even dinner plans. My answer is always “maybe” I can never say yes and follow through. It’s the weirdest shit ever. I always say it’s because I don’t like to cancel so I’d rather say “maybe” but as I learn more about myself I think it has more to do with my fear to commit. Another thing I'm going to work on is how non vocal I am. I keep everything bottled in. I write about it but I very rarely tell people what I’m feeling. And last but not least is being present and really taking in the moments and really enjoying the company of those around me. Sometimes all someone needs is to feel seen.