Dependent

 And once I let go I realized I needed him for nothing, and it was in that moment that I gained back all of my power. It doesn’t mean I love him any less but it does mean that life wont stop without him. My life isn’t dependent on him and the love I have to give won’t stop because of him. If we share the rest of our lives together or if he goes, my happiness will always remain because it is not dependent on another. 

Forgiveness

 Forgiveness doesn’t require reconnection. You can forgive someone and close the door to the past, you don’t have to allow room in your life for someone who has hurt you. You can remove yourself and still forgive. 

Live out of fear

 I’ve learned that people live mostly in fear. Fear of change and fear of feeling anything to much. We are all living a life of our own visual projections. We live life according to what we believe we deserve. Life is teaching me that though someone feels something it doesn’t necessarily mean they understand it and it isn’t my obligation or job to make them understand it or see it the way I see it. Life is to short to be unhappy and miserable. Learn to live life while allowing others to live theirs. Life isn’t a competition. Let go of your ego and be happy. 

Poetryyy

 

Highs and lows

 Healing is a process of highs and lows, there will be days that you feel like giving up and giving in. It’s picking yourself up after a crying session and allowing others to see your pain. It takes strength and resilience to continue on your journey and there will be days where you fall but always remember that there is strength at the bottom and all you can go is up. 

Foot traffic/blocked

 I can literally see all the incoming traffic on my blog it tells me who, from where and how many times visited and how long the person stayed, for those that visit my blog because you find my words beautiful and inspiring thank you and to those who visit because they hate me and come visit to get triggered, I have one question... why? Why are you continuously reopening old doors. Why are to continuously coming to my blog to read my post? I genuinely would love to know. There is nothing for you here. For those that love reading my post please send a request and for everyone else my blog page will now be private.

New form

 

Translation

Time didn’t seem to exist between us, and as we talked for what seemed to be minutes had quickly turned into hours. He spoke of the many things he loved and the things he feared and his eyes told me a story of loss. Though handsome, the creases that formed at the end of his eyes told me he had felt more than his fair share of hurt. The water kissed at my feet and bringing me back to my current thoughts and I couldn’t help but to feel sadness. Sadness hung at my lips for all the time lost and for all the things we couldn’t speak of. So many lost moments and the words wouldn’t form to explain all the ways I had loved him, now all lost in translation. 

Your own company

Take time to quiet all the outside noise and just relax. Find peace in the silence that surrounds you. It’s so important to give yourself a day of complete self care. Read your favorite book, sip on your favorite wine or coffee, do what ever it is you enjoy to do for you. Find the bliss that comes with being in your own company. 

Now Go

 I never understood the expression “if you love someone, you let them go” I always thought, who the hell loves someone and allows them to walk away, I didn’t understand why until I met you. Love isn’t wanting someone for yourself just to fill some kind of void. Love is wanting the absolute best for someone, even if it means the absolute best isn’t with you. It’s seeing them happy and living out there best life. It’s allowing someone to be who they are in their entirety without the want or need to change or to withhold them because it doesn’t involve or benefit you. So with all that said, this is where I let you go. I hope that life gives you everything you want and dream of, I hope you live a life so content and full that when you are old and grey you look back and have absolutely no regrets. Now go live, there’s a whole life out there waiting for you.

Dreamer

 She was a dreamer, she believed in things like dimensions and realms. she believed in soul shattering love and I’d never experienced someone so in love with the moon. Her eyes made me believe in something more, and the way she spoke made me believe that there was more to this life than life itself.  

Conventional

 Forever, not in the conventional way. In the way that I will hold you within my soul, I will catch your scent within the breeze that touches my skin on the warmest of summer days and I will capture your laughter within our favorite songs. Forever. 

Beautiful series

 Life is a series of beautiful moments that shape us and change us. And In those series of moments we meet people, people that may stay or may go but still impact our lives forever. That’s the beauty of life, we never really lose people because though in the physical realm they are no longer with us, spiritually they will always be with us. 

Awaken

 As we go through life we gradually lose pieces of who we thought we were. With the lessons that come so does the lost of our blindness. We start viewing things differently. We shed our old selves, as we outgrow things, and we awaken to a new look on life. 

Spew

 You can’t go onto someone’s page and get triggered by what you read and then blame them for triggering you. Why are you visiting someone’s page you clearly hate, knowing you will be triggered with everything that they write? What sense does that make? Non at all. Some people love negativity and love dragging things on for longer because that’s what they live for. They find comfort in the drama and they find comfort in blaming another for clearly what is a choice they are making all on their own. 

Sleeping At Last - "Saturn" (Official Music Video)

Complicated

 Why is it that we as humans complicate life. Why do we manifest our fears instead of our hopes and dreams. We live life based on being afraid. Afraid of the truth, afraid of love and afraid of happiness. And I’m talking about myself here. I for one, if something is going too good I start searching for the bad, I start making things up in my head and telling myself this is way too good to be true. I guess I’m scared to be happy for the same reasons everyone else is. Happiness and love make us vulnerable, it leaves the door wide open for someone to come in and hurt us. That’s scary especially when you’ve been hurt and let down many times before. So what do you do when you want to grasp for something but at the same time you want to turn and run away;

Shine

People that envy your light will always try to dim it and put it out. They will laugh and mock you and they will try to make you feel small. Don’t allow the darkness of another become you. Shine bright and do the things that you love with passion. Your power will always shine through. 

Full love

 Learn how to let go of what no longer resonates with your soul. I think for a lot of us this is a losing battle because most of us were taught to hold on to people and things even though they hurt. We were taught to suck it up and bear with the things that are handed to us. No one ever told us to put ourselves first and most of us were never told that our own happiness has to be a top priority. So we hold on and except things, not because we are happy, but because we were taught that our happiness doesn’t really matter. It’s so hard to unlearn this way of thinking. We feel guilty and selfish for doing what’s best for us at the cost of hurting someone else and that’s okay it’s called having compassion but what’s not okay is living unhappily in silence. It’s okay to put yourself first, it’s okay to be happy and it is okay to experience life in full love. 

Stop checking in

  Stop checking in on people you dislike just to be triggered by what they write and post. People have different beliefs, thoughts and opinions, that is the beauty of life. Imagine how boring of a world and how small ones thoughts must be to try to impose your beliefs on to someone else. Controlling and manipulating the way others view things because you can’t fathom the thought that someone thinks differently than you. 

One way track

 I wonder what goes on in the mind of those who can't think outside the box. The ones that are set in their one way views that can't comprehend any other way but their own. Those that can't see things in all the many colors they come in. Those with views only in black and white. Those that because they can't understand something they wish to tear it down. Those who say that their speaking truth based on fixations and one way views;

Love is not hard.

 Anyone who I have loved in the past I still hold love for. It’s not the same love but it’s definitely love. Love can be described in many different ways. You can love someone with your whole heart and care for them but not be in love with them. It doesn’t mean you love them any less it’s just a very different love. I’ve been in love very few times. There were relationships in where I thought I was in love and in hindsight realized that it was anything but that. Still didn’t change the fact that I love them. Love is easy. I don’t like the term “love is hard” because love is not hard. Love is the easy part. It’s everything else that’s gets in the way, like ego, pride, anger and hurt. Every long term relationship requires you to meet the person half way. It requires you to put your pride aside and it requires communication but it doesn’t require you to put yourself aside while putting all of their needs and wants ahead of your own. Loyalty should not mean you are a slave to the relationship. Yes you do help your partner through the hard times but you should not enable someone to be fully dependable on your love and the relationship. You are not required to give all of your pieces to fill them up. Love is gentle and kind, it’s screaming at the top of your lungs because you are angry but never spiteful. Love is the feeling of perfect. It’s the feeling of forever lingering on your lips after you kiss. It’s laughter and tears. It’s talking under the midnight sky looking at the moon while you both tell each other all of your wants and fears. Love is me. Love is you.

Choices

 Do not let yourself or others keep you contained in any situation. You can grow. You can change. You can learn and you do have CHOICES. Just because it happened yesterday, last week, last month it does not mean you have to drown in the choices of yesterday. Don't let people put bugs in your ear and convince you otherwise. The loudest voice you should hear is your own inner voice. Sit, meditate, breathe and you will hear your truth. Sometimes those closest to you, whether it's family, friends or a partner, won't want to see you grow or change because it is something that they fear. Sometimes you need to evaluate those around you and it is okay to say no, even to family and friends;        

Love Is Free

 No one owes you anything. You can say oh but I did this for them or I gave up this for them at the end of the day that was your choice. You have a choice in everything that you do. If you truly did not want to do it... why did you? We all do things for the people that we love that doesn’t mean that when ever we get angry or things don’t necessarily go our way, we can start throwing those things in their face. No one owes you their life, no one is your possession and I hate when someone refers to someone as “theirs” love is not entrapment. Love is not something that is made to make you feel stuck. Love is free and it makes you feel free and alive. It makes you feel like you are soaring in the highest sky and your not afraid to fall because you know that they will be right there when you decide to land.

The search

 The search for love in others ended when I found it within myself. I don’t hold onto people to feel complete. If I love you it’s genuine pure love. I want those in my presence to feel free. Free in who they are and what they want. I don’t want anyone who thinks or feels an obligation for what ever reason. I want people to want to be near me because I am an energy they have never felt. Everyone who comes into your life comes with a reason and a message. I’ve learned to listen and observe everyone who comes into my life. Sometimes they come so you can heal them and send them on there way. I allow what flows to flow and I hold on to no anger or resentment. What will be, will always be. 

On and off

 When you love someone it doesn’t automatically mean the person will love you back. Love doesn’t mean “I love you but you have to love me to in order for me to love you.” That’s not how love works. It doesn’t mean if you don’t love me I’m not going to love you. Love isn’t an on and off switch that you can just turn on and off when ever you please...that’s not love, and if you think that you can just turn love off you’ve never experienced true love. 

angel

 I watched him sleep and I wondered if he knew just how beautiful he was. He seemed almost angelic and he is. He came into my life during a time that I thought everything was falling apart and it was but it was only falling apart so I could learn how it needed to be put back together. Friends that have turned into so much more. He is my peace in a world full of chaos. He is someone that I can tell all of my deepest darkest fears and he doesn’t use them against me even when he is angry. What we have will always be. 

Shattered

 There are certain people that come into your life and change it forever. It’s as if you found a piece of magic within them and you just know that there’s so much more to life than what we can see with the human eye. Some people touch the core of your soul and bring this light into your life that can never be explained. It’s an earth shattering feeling, it’s an awakening of the spirits and when your souls touch you know that life as it was before will never be again. 

Blame

Placing blame gets you no where, the first step is taking accountability for all the choices you have made. No matter what someone said to convince you or how sorry they made you feel for them at the end of the day what ever you did was your choice. It took me a lot of sleepless nights to realize this. It took a lot of looking deep within to realize that no one in this life is responsible for any of us. We are responsible for everything. Things happen and it is how we react that impacts our life the most.